What does a positive learning environment/home look like?

There are several things I have learned and continue to learn that create a positive rewarding environment in which to live and grow. The following ideas can be used in all work and/or play environments.

One. Treat all children equally. Treat all parents equally, treat all colleagues equally! Playing favorites contributes to an environment of negativity. Eliminate inequities.

Two. Setup the environment/daily home with different things for the children to do, make sure there are clear expectations for behavior, list how many children in each area (for child care centers), and what happens with the materials. The environment should act as a teacher. Put out different things for young children to find/discover. An example of this working well is the library. We tell our children to use quiet voices in the library, the library has engaging books and materials set up for hands on use.  Children behave in the library exactly the way they have been asked to by the adult and the environment setup.

Three. Phrase everything that you can in the positive, this is hard at first, but you’ll catch on. A “YES” environment is so much calmer and fun and builds a young child’s self-esteem. As an adult you will feel less stress and more happiness.  A “NO” environment limits a child’s ability to build self-esteem and self-regulation.  A “NO” environment reduces us all to “I’m not good enough” or to seek pleasing behaviors.

Examples are; when running, state, “we walk inside”, when playing in our chair, we state, “we sit in our chair during dinner”, When the child melts down, we state, “I see you are having trouble, how can I help?  This is how we can “use gentle hands”, all positive statements when really you want to yell…..STOP running, NO hitting, etc.  No, no, no, no and we stop listening! 

Try to restate the “rule” “We walk inside” and then “I need you to walk inside, we may run outside.”  Lastly if necessary give a choice, “we may walk inside or you may hold my hand” or some other option that you find acceptable. The goal is for young children to internalize behavior by making sure the environment is all about what they CAN do.

Four. Use observational/describing remarks to help the young child describe his/her feelings like, “you sound angry”, “you look sad”, “that was a loud yell” acknowledge the feelings and help children manage them by adding; “when you are ready, I will help you”.  Limit asking questions. Too many questions can overwhelm the younger child, they really don’t know why they have misbehaved or had a temper tantrum, no need to ask.

Five. Help children to internalize their own self-worth by praising LESS. Encourage young children by acknowledging what has been done by stating what they have done. “You made a red line”, “you asked for help”, “I see you put your mittens on”. The goal is for children to feel internally proud of their accomplishments not for you to impose pride. If you say “good job” or “I like it” the child gets no intrinsic value.

Six. Stay calm. If you lose control of your emotions, the kiddos will get the upper hand, and FEED off of this negative energy resulting in chaos and negativity. Practice deep breathing or put on soothing music.

Seven.  Check your expectations for behavior for given age, perhaps they are too high or too low! Remember children mature at different rates so not all behaviors should be expected at the same age for all children.