What is your fine line between doing something for a child and letting them experience doing it themselves?  How long do you let a child work it out before stepping in and helping out?

Some examples:

Putting on shoes. It’s easy to watch the self-directed child that wants to do it themselves. How long do you wait on the distracted child? What about the frustrated child?

Engaging in an altercation with a classmate. How do you determine the threshold both can take before frustrations run too high or it gets physical?

Here are some things to consider.

Are you asking the child to do something or is the child self-motivated?

What will the child learn from the experience?

Match the age of the child to the task. Set reasonable expectations.

If you are a teacher, make sure that the family’s values are matched to yours.

Know your own threshold and make sure your threshold is not too high or too low.

Do you have time or do you have somewhere to be and need to make a quick decision.

Children need time to work things out on their own. We cannot be in a hurry if we want them to have agency and learn to make good choices. Step back and let learning happen!