Exploring Big Feelings
How do big feelings present in toddlers and preschoolers and how do adults support these feelings?
Children should be allowed to express their feelings in a safe place as they learn self-control. What does this look like for a child? It might be falling down on the ground and flailing about. It might include screaming, yelling, and/or crying. Commonly called a temper tantrum! There could be an element of being physical in the form of biting, scratching, hitting, kicking or destroying property. This is all a form of communication. We must check in with ourselves and handle our own emotions first. We must help children negotiate these feelings instead of breaking down ourselves.
First, allowing big feelings is important, this is the way a child learns to communicate. We do not like it if someone tells us, “You are OK”, or “to get over it”, or to stop feeling a certain way. We do not want to be told to “stop it” so why should a child be able to negotiate accepting this. We must check our own feelings first and then support theirs very calmly by naming their feelings and accepting them. We are supportive in positive feelings but tend to shut down the negative emotions.
While the latter is not ideal, we still need to provide a safe place for the expression of feelings. Sometimes we must step back and let them be physical in a safe place as they negotiate these big feelings.
Reach out if you want to discuss further!
Do you have questions about child led curriculum?
This is how we “do” curriculum at FG. Our curriculum is child-led and play based meaning the children choose or show interest in topics and with our support the delivery is through play. First, we observe the children. Next, we consider the season that we are experiencing in our outdoor program. We then make a rough outline for the week. We include activities that incorporate the MA Learning Guidelines and Standards in the areas of small and gross motor skills, the arts, language and literacy, self-help and science. We add activities that we think the children will find interesting based on our observations. If they do not, we might re-introduce an idea or we might watch and choose to scrap it.
We continue to observe and introduce new elements that might extend play and learning. This looks like children playing all day with not much teacher intervention. The children make hypotheses and test theory. They explore natural and man-made sensory experiences. They are read to and read to each other. They paint and draw with many mediums. They listen to music, they play music. They explore sound with their own voices and objects or they use objects to make sound!
They eat when they are hungry. They get emotional and explore feelings both with adults and each other.
If you have any questions about our curriculum, please ask us.
This OR That, This AND that
Let’s choose AND rather than OR!
Children can play and still be learning. It’s not play or learning!
Children can move and still be listening. It’s not, you must sit still or you won’t learn!
Children can express opinions and be listened to. It’s not you will listen to me or else (insert some consequence).
It’s not me or you, it’s me and you. We all matter!
Interruptions
Do you like being interrupted when you are busy working on something important to you? Most of us do not! I wonder why we spend so much time interrupting children and simultaneously expect “good” behavior.
We try to keep children on a schedule ignoring their internal biological needs. We stop them in their tracks because we think they must do this or that. We organize their play because we think they should be learning something other than what we see. But how do we know what they are learning. When we impose our ideas, it interrupts their flow of learning and gathering information. Just like me interrupting you, the effect is the same, we are thrown off track!
Let’s step back!
Kind vs Nice
Kind vs Nice, do you know the difference?
Listening to a pod cast had me thinking about kind vs nice. There are plenty of memes on social media that are stressing one to “be kind” and/or “chose kindness”. I had an opportunity to see more clearly kind vs nice and how they are not at all the same thing.
Being kind means setting boundaries, being respectful and in turn being respected. To me, in being kind there is a mutual regard for one other. You don’t need to agree with another person to act kindly. You can be very different from one another and still be kind.
Being nice implies that one is perhaps giving up their own position to avoid rocking the boat. Walking on egg shells so to speak so that people “like you”. One might even be classified as a bit shallow when acting from a place of being nice. Being nice actually devalues both parties.
We might try asking our teams and our children to be kind rather than telling them to “be nice”. Let’s try!
A Child Called “J”
Occasionally, something happens that reminds you of your “why” in early childhood eductaion! In January we met “J” a 3-year-old child who was in foster care. His foster family brought him to us at Friendship Garden. In just a day we fell in love. Did we recognize that this child experienced trauma in their young life? You bet we did. It is important to recognize a child’s background and at the same time to not focus, obssess or overthink it.
This child responded to taking their time to acclimate without being pushed by adults. They felt love and acceptance as evidenced by a big hug in just one day!
After only three days the child was placed in another foster home and left our care. He left a mark on all of us. We proved to ourselves that a wide-open heart of acceptance makes a difference quickly. We saw a spark in a beautiful smile.
One can only hope that our chance crossing stays on both our minds for a long time.
Toddlers and Music
A teacher started their music app and set the phone on the counter. A few seconds later, one toddler was swaying, dancing, and singing. Two more joined in they held hands. All together four toddlers without any interruption, oversight or “help” held hands and swayed to the music laughing and enjoying themselves.
This lasted through one song and just into a second song before they drifted apart. Have you ever tried to organize children for a event like this, and it doesn’t work out? Children need the time and space to come together on their own without the pressure to perform. To me this is what an inviting, child led, play based quality experience looks like.
Did you sway, sing and dance uninterrupted today?
Little Humans
How is it that we spend so much time trying to make children just like us? We think they need to know what we know. We think they should use materials we put out in some pre-determined way. Children are little humans with rights. We should not impose ourselves on them but rather respect them for their inexperience and support them.
We are trying to fit all children into a model of education that doesn’t work for most. The “sit here and learn this” model doesn’t allow for movement, exploration, creativity, and collaboration. We aspire to a model where we acknowledge that we adults do not know what skills will be needed for jobs in 15 years.
If only we could view children as co-“everything” we could sit back and enjoy what they bring to the table. We don’t need to teach them ANYTHING. We need to give them a safe place with caring adults and stand back!
A Look Back
I spent several hours cleaning out my file cabinet of “teaching” ideas. It was fun to see my own evolution through the years.
I had folder after folder of cute crafts with samples. We no longer do crafts but rather explore the open- ended process of art through different mediums.
I had folders of science ideas. We now explore what crops up seasonally in our space and add “experiments” as are relevant.
I had old posters, magazine cut outs, instruction pages, samples; it’s all obsolete to where my path of learning has taken me with the children. If I stand back and I am observant with an open mind, I am the one who is learning. Our children learn while freely exploring and expressing.
How do you learn best? Is it by following someone’s idea about what you should know or do you explore your interests?
Made Up Games
When we give children resources they create their own games. This group of children used materials to create a “basket ball” game up off the ground.
We too often limit children’s imagination with our own constraints. The joy of children making up their own games and playing them teaches so many skills at once. Collaboration, communication, consequences, risk assessment, eye hand coordination and other skills are innate to play. These skills are skills we think we should teach. We do not need too if we just let the children be.
What will you allow children to do today?