Creating a Win-Win
How do you create a win-win situation with your toddler?
The young preschooler by nature is the master of battles. We have witnessed and experienced the change of season clothing battle, the “I want it the way I want it” battle and the “I don’t like it” battle for the past few weeks! It is important to choose your battles wisely and create a win-win for you both!
Let’s look at how to create a win-win situation, since that is the preferable outcome.
When your young child is thrashing about, stomping, yelling or whining, you might want to banish them to the moon until they grow up. Not possible? Then remember this, your child is not being disrespectful but rather learning how to be a leader. He/she is learning how to voice his/her opinion and looking for your respect. The young child is learning how to navigate the world by asking why (over and over) instead of accepting your word. So let’s see, raise your hand if you want your child to blindly follow the leader! Not so much. You want your child to listen and respect, remember respect is earned.
There are several ways to make things easier for both of you and empower your child at the same time. First, create an environment of mutual respect. For the young child this means, listen to their side of reason. It might be completely unreasonable to you that suddenly your three- year-old wants to wear her party shoes to school. Stop to find out why and there may be a great explanation or story how she and her friend had a plan to have a princess dance party at school. If the rule is “shoes with ties for school” you now have a place of understanding for compromise. Remember you are not giving in, just respecting his/her opinion which is part of your win-win plan.
Second, offer choices and make sure that either choice is acceptable to you. Put out two pairs of pants that you find appropriate and then let your child choose. Your young child is just beginning to understand that he/she has an individual voice, and that it can have an impact on his/her world.
If compromise or choice is not possible, explaining helps your child learn that there is thought and reason behind what you have asked him/her to do. This goes back to raising a leader not a follower, remember perhaps your child is not being disrespectful but rather he/she is seeking an explanation to a situation that makes no sense to him/her.
Lastly, to fend off some outcry try to give clues or “warnings” that a transition is about to occur. In nursery school we have a timer or we flicker the light or we give a verbal reminder. This helps to set the children up for what is ahead.
We all want to win, child and adult alike. Cheers to setting up win-win situations!
Let’s go outside
Let’s go outside! Many people spend 90% of their time indoors. It has gotten harder to get young children away from the screen. As we get ready to head outside for more hours than in the winter, let’s explore some of the benefits of being outdoors.
The first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions going outside is fresh air, sunshine and time to renew my spirit and energy. It takes a great deal of reserved strength to be a great teacher and getting outdoors is a way to renew those reserves. Time spent enjoying nature helps me renew not only my physical energy, but my emotional outlook as well. These benefits are enough to make me head for the door. I believe this to be true for young children too.
Jan White in her Exchange (May/June 2013) article, “Somersaults and Spinning: The Serious Work of Children’s Neurological Development says a vast amount of movement is required for the brain to fully develop and then fine-tune its ability to interpret all the motion possibilities. This also needs to be matched with vision, hearing, and sensory information coming from inside the body (proprioception). Rather than actually balancing and staying still, it is movement in gravity that makes this sensory system wire up in the brain and body. It is perhaps not surprising to find that these are the very things that young children most want to do and find such pleasure in!”
Young children need to move their whole bodies. Young children need to throw, catch and kick a ball, run, jump, dribble and shoot a ball, climb, chase, gallop, swing, crawl, and be loud. Young children need to dig, fill, spill and carry. They also need space to whirl, twirl, roll and bounce. All of these activities build the large muscles of the body necessary for a sense of equilibrium in relation to space and gravity, which is necessary for school readiness. All these movements can be accomplished during unstructured play time or under the direct instruction of a teacher or a coach. Games of toss and catch, kicking into a goal, shooting a ball into a basket, hopscotch, jump rope and hula hoops are some traditional playground games. Remember drawing with chalk on the driveway or painting with water on the building are great ways to strengthen muscles.
Young children need the sensory experiences of sight, sound and touch. Grass, trees, and bushes offer up a variety of sensory experiences. Use all of your senses when outdoors.
At Friendship Garden Nursery School we are in the process of building an outdoor learning center, as an extension of the indoor classroom. Since undertaking this project I have been investigating some different elements to include. Outside of the above mentioned playground activities our area will include a space to make music, a mud kitchen, tables and benches for outdoor discovery, paint easels and a big chalk board.
In this area we will also enjoy sun catchers and wind chimes. There will be baskets of pinecones and tree blocks. The goal is to assault the senses with nature.
Now, go outside and have fun!
Runny Noses, Coughs & Colds
Can you believe that the simple act of hand washing can keep your child healthier this winter? I was reading an article by Dr. Marz of Bass River Pediatrics where he says that young children entering preschool for the first time will spend the next 18 months or so experiencing the entire inventory of cough, cold, runny noses and viruses in the area. If you relocate the pattern continues with “new” local bugs. In fact this is a normal pattern. Your child’s immune system is not sub optimal.
Many of us take hand washing for granted as a way of staying healthy and perhaps focus on good food, sleep and exercise which are all important to our good health. Pair this with hand washing and your child’s health might improve.
What is proper hand washing? Soap and water are integral to good hand washing. Using soap and running water, hands should be rubbed vigorously together for 10 seconds, be sure to include the back of the hand, wrists, between the fingers and under the fingernails. Dry thoroughly with a paper towel and repeat as necessary throughout the day!
Great news, young children love washing their hands. Here is a fun poem to wash to!
Little fingers like to play
In mud and paint and sand all day.
To get those fingers squeaky clean,
Wash the fronts and backs
And in between!
We used finger paint and made our handprints on a separate piece of paper and then sprinkled on a bit of corn meal “dirt” and then recited this poem. It is now hanging on the wall to remind us to wash often.
We also have fun with this poem, as we teach the children to put their coughs or sneezes into their “wings” or elbows.
If you need to cough or sneeze,
Put it in your elbow please.
Throw your tissue in the can,
Now it’s time to wash your hands!!
May these little tidbits keep you healthier this winter!
Promoting Wellness & Independence for Pre-schoolers
How do routines promote wellness and independence for your nursery school aged child?
There are many ways to promote well being while allowing for independence for your pre-schooler. Let’s look at a few basics.
Your young child can begin taking care of him/herself. This does not mean that he/she should do this alone! A family member should be modeling good self care. The most important and easiest way to promote wellness within your family is proper hand washing using soap and running water. Although hand sanitizer will do in a pinch, soap and water is the preferred method of cleaning. This simple task will keep everyone healthier.
Children thrive when given schedule and routine. There are many fun ways to invite your child to participate in healthy daily routines. Let’s look at cooking and housekeeping chores. Preparing nutritious foods is a favorite task of many pre-schoolers. Young children can wash, mix, and stir. Make sure that the cooking task you give your little one is age appropriate with a bit of a challenge. Use family dinners as a time to provide opportunities for practicing using utensils, non-sippy cups and good manners.
Cleaning up can be fun. How about playing a sorting game or getting the task completed before the music ends? Putting things away in familiar places help children to be self sufficient. Folding laundry provides many lessons in dressing for the weather. As the temperature changes so should the clothing in your child’s bureau/closet. Clothing battles can easily be won when you having a selection of seasonally appropriate clothing that your child can choose and put on him/herself. It is a good policy to choose your battles keeping in mind that some things are “must do’s” and are never left up to the child’s choice. Establish this for yourself and your child early. Remember there is no negotiating “must do’s”.
In keeping well make sure that your pre-schooler has the opportunity for gross motor movement/exercise every day. Climbing, running, jumping, catching, lifting, balancing and reaching. This can be accomplished either at a playground or dancing to music in your living room! Just like adults children should move enough to raise their heart rates.
Young children need routine bedtimes. Allow your child to wind down un-stimulated by electronics before bed to assure a good night’s sleep. After getting into pajamas, washing up, tooth brushing and flossing is another important self care routine that you can do together.
Whatever healthy routines you establish keep with them until your child’s next developmental stage. You will recognize when this happens as your routine will need change, sometimes this is dramatic, as in it just no longer works, but often there is just a subtle shift. Flow with it, remembering the basic well being issues discussed above.
Be Well!