Toddlers bite. Right? Calm down, this too shall pass.

Most adults see biting as super aggressive and inappropriate, still toddlers bite. We often react in a way that is actually not helpful. We get as mad and as frustrated as a toddler. We place blame on the teacher(s), the biter, the parent(s).

YET toddlers are developing language skills and they are often frustrated by the inability to communicate their wants/needs.  A toddler may also be teething. We are able to communicate to talk about our frustration, here is how to help. First, remain calm.

How to help a biter (for educators).

First,  we must realize that it is developmentally appropriate for a toddler to bite.  As educators we need parents to know this and communicate it often. Suspend judgement and blame of child and family. Build a great relationship with the family as this is paramount to a high quality early education program.

On the spot, try to identify the problem with the child’s help,  then verbalize for the child, explaining and naming the emotions involved. Help the child communicate by modeling the words you would like him/ her to use.  Make sure you are calmly communicating that biting hurts. Give the child something appropriate to bite on. Always follow up with an accident/incident report.

How to help the parent of the biter. First, toddlers bite. Normal. Communicate with your child’s teacher. Be at ease with the situation. Practice the same response as your child’s educator for consistency for the child. Be on the same page as your child’s educator.

How to help the bitten child. Console and comfort, perhaps give some ice if needed. If the skin breaks, follow your center’s protocol.

How to help parent of the child that got bit.

Suspend all judgement and blaming of the toddler, the toddler’s family and teacher(s), ask the family to do the same. Build a great relationship with the early educator(s). Communicate often.  A solid parent/teacher relationship is key. Parents need to trust that you are a professional and you are caring for ALL the children in your classroom.  Biting is developmentally appropriate. Toddlers bite.

How to help the parent of the biter. Communicate with your child’s teacher. Be at ease with the situation. Be on the same page as your child’s educator. Be consistent in your calm but firm reaction to biting. State that biting hurts.

It’s all about forging trusting relationships with the children in your care and their families.